I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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