does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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