my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
