Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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