my vag is so smooth its legendary
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
