no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize