from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
