guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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