yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
