he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
