no, he came in my armpit
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize