Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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