About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I could fuck to npr.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
