i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
