As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
