well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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