oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
