I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
