Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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