Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
