It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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