i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
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With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..