i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.