i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The air taste purple.
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