He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
