I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
