I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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