you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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