so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
