She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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