fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize