I CAN MOONWALK!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this just has baby written all over it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize