okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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