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this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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