sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.