she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think pants incapable of making pants work