I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it's like iHOP with fire
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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