She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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