My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
