And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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