im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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