I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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