I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
