Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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