I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize