It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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