I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
