He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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