I heard we made out
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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