Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Someone came in the potted fern
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
