i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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