just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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