it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
