Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
