She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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