I think i peed on brittanys purse
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
