he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How does one acquire holy water?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
