Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
