Yo dont text me then not text me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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