please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
