I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.