it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's how pantless uber rides happen