First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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