My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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