Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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