real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A bitchslap is in order.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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